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Those crazy people at the Orlando Sentinel (subscription required) have been at it again.  I think they need to go bake on a beach for a week or two.  You just gotta keep laughing.  Of course, they also claim that this was a "once in a lifetime" kind of hurricane year.  Yeah right - until next year.

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Whether natives or newcomers, residents of the Sunshine State (Ha!) have faced a multitude of, er, weather challenges the past two months. Yet, Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne have made us get a bit philosophical here at the Sentinel's Institute of Cloud Tops, Convection and Shear Madness. We therefore present the results of a comprehensive study into what really makes Florida -- and Floridians -- so special.

You know you live in Florida when . . .

  • You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.
  • Your kids start school in August and finish in July.
  • You know the plot to Groundhog Day and haven't even seen the movie.
  • There's a "No Wake" sign posted at the end of your driveway.
  • Having a tree in the living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
  • You consider plywood a window treatment.
  • You know which weathercasters are pregnant.
  • The term "huge fan" has nothing to do with sports.
  • You won't trade cars until you've tried to guess which tree to park your lemon under for the next hurricane.
  • You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or tree-service worker.
  • You actually like talking to your insurance agent.
  • Toilet paper is elevated to coin of the realm at shelters.
  • Your swimming pool experiences tides.
  • A hurricane with wind hits you harder than a hurricane with alcohol.
  • You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."
  • Suspended tolls are a highlight of your life.
  • A battery-powered TV is considered an entertainment center.
  • Your 5-year-old knows the difference between a Category 2 and Category 3 storm.
  • You find the hum of a generator erotic.
  • You can't swim because your pool is full of patio furniture.
  • You actually have seen pigs fly.
  • You own seven or more of the following: a generator, a power inverter, a weather radio, a battery-powered TV, a battery-powered fan, battery-powered lanterns, a 5-gallon gasoline can, several tarps, a chain saw, a pole saw and a rain suit.
  • Your parrot can say "Hunker down."
  • You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
  • You miss the days when the only topics that put Florida in the national news were flawed elections and drug kingpins.
  • Your children associate huffing and puffing to blow a house down not with a Big Bad Wolf, but with a hurricane.
  • You know exactly how long two bags of ice will last in your cooler.
  • You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.
  • Your hurricane parties keep getting canceled because of hurricanes.
  • Even as an adult, sundown means time for bed.
Posted on Saturday, October 2, 2004 1:21 PM Humor and Fun , Home Ownership , & Etc. | Back to top

Comments on this post: You know you live in Florida when...

# re: You know you live in Florida when...
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i find that HIGHLY OFFENSIVE! we don't just have hurricanes done here! we have more exciting mthings happen to us and im pretty sure that the average person does not have hurricane parties and does not have seven or more generators, power inverters, weather radios, battery-powered TVs, battery-powered fans, battery-powered lanterns, 5-gallon gasoline cans, several tarps, chain saws, pole saws and rain suits
Left by bianca brown on Jan 06, 2008 3:01 AM

# re: You know you live in Florida when...
Requesting Gravatar...
Bianca your gayyy i loved it. i dont find it offinsive because it true for half the people at my school. so get a sense of humor and LIGHTEN UP!
and if you dont like it.. the MOVEEEEEEEEEE
Left by Maria on Jan 28, 2008 8:21 PM

# re: You know you live in Florida when...
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your a retard they mean 7 off the list not seven or more of one item
Left by christina on Feb 02, 2008 2:22 PM

# re: You know you live in Florida when...
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that was hilarious and so true -straight from the 3o5-
Left by nati on Apr 07, 2008 6:51 PM

# re: You know you live in Florida when...
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I'm a sophomore in high school, and I remember back in the 7th and 8th grade, a couple of my friends and I would actually have hurricane parties where we would go outside and dance in the rain, then make fun of the forecasters of the national Weather Channel who were talking about how devastated South Florida was because of the hurricane. I destroyed many a umbrella during those days :D. We actually had a saying for it: "Hurricanes are holidays" because of the amount of school you get off during hurricane season. In Florida, most of the kids who had power would feel a certain responsibility to monitor the school board website then text everyone on their contacts list informing them if we had school the next day. That happened this year when we got the very first 5 days of the school year off because of hurricanes. Ahhhh... Floridians.
Left by figgy on Jan 26, 2009 6:07 PM

# re: You know you live in Florida when...
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Are you freaking kidding me? My mom and I throw hurricane partys EVERY year. :] and My Step-Dad goes out and puts plywood, tarps.. Etc.. :] all over the freaking place! Soo yehh. STFU :]
Left by Brittany Adabody on May 20, 2009 7:42 PM

# re: You know you live in Florida when...
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wow bianca!! grow up and get a sense of humor! i found it very funny!!! =]
Left by Tyler Cothern on Jul 18, 2009 11:33 AM

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